birthday countdown

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A lot to think about.....

Well I just had a very interesting conversation with someone at my gym. She is an awesome trainer who has been helping lots of people meet their goals. She is tough and serious. Some of my friends have encouraged me to talk to her.  I am concerned that after I finish this training that I am doing with my bike and finish the race on June 12th, I need something to keep me going. I am not meeting my goals for weight loss like I thought I would. I feel great, much stronger and more fit, but the scale is not showing that. I am not saying I am getting hung up on numbers but I know that to really reach my goals I am going to have to work harder. So that's where I have a lot to think about.... As I talked with this trainer, she put it to me as straight as I have ever heard it before. She said that to get my body to change I have to push it harder than it has ever gone before. It will be hard, it will hurt but if I am consistent and dedicated, it will work. So I left the meeting with very mixed emotions. I do want to reach these goals. I have wanted it so many times before, I don't want this year to be like all the other years. I want to succeed!! I want to say I did it!! But I realized after talking to her that I will have to work harder than I ever have before. I don't think I can do it alone. I just don't push myself like that. So I am feeling like I am at a crossroads. Either bite the bullet, find a way to do it, both physically, emotionally, and  financially( Her sessions are $300 for 10) or continue to try and work on my own. I just don't feel like I will get there alone- but it will be hard and to be truthful I am a little scared. I also have got to make a commitment to myself to track my eating. I think I might be tricking myself into believing that I am eating so wonderfully because of the things I have cut out of my diet. Bur since I am not writing everything down and analyzing it, I don't know for sure.  I feel like I am starting to lose my dedication and I need to stick with it. I think I am at the point I have been so many times, but I really don't want to give up. Somehow I have got to dig deeper inside and find what I need to be the person I want to be. Hmmmmm so much on my mind!